My Big Bro

Every one of us wants to have that ‘someone’ who would be on the same boat with us. Willing to share our downfalls and terrible times in life. Ready to pull us up when we are drowned in a pool of illusions. Accept us as who we are and love us unconditionally no matter who and what we will become in the future. In our age right now, being a teen is not easy. In this stage of life, we experience changes in our organic being, aside from that is the wave of emotions that is quiet hard for us to handle, that’s why we always need someone to guide us.

Let me tell you about this ‘someone’ who played a great role in my life, he is the second man in the house who inspired me to become a loving and unselfish being to my family, friends or even to strangers. He is my male best friend and forever first gent that marked and will always leave a mark in my heart, he is my ‘’yak’’ (what we call to each other), my older brother and the only brother that I have, my Kuya Von.

My brother always have that positive view in life. He passed the criminology board exam, but never stopped dreaming to become an educator. Ironically, he is now working as a security guard in Cebu, earning a small salary but let me tell you that small salary that he has never failed to help me with my studies. He is very unselfish person, always willing to give the last penny he has. He is that kind of person who easily accepts what life gave him. He is always strengthen by his faith. Even though he is already at the tip end of reaching his dreams, he never stop believing that someday he can capture that dream of him. He’s a very loving son, a mama’s boy. A very caring brother to his three younger sisters. He is a very conservative Kuya. He is always concerned about the way we dress, the way we look, the way we talk and even the way we sit and behave. I can say that he is a little bit of a perfectionist.

Having my Kuya as my older brother is one of those things I really thank God for. He blessed me with a very loving man. A brother who taught me a lot of lessons in life. What I learned from him were; to be an unselfish person, to stand up again no matter how many times I fall, to accept the kind of life I have and to be strengthen by my faith, to live simply but happy and contented, to finish what I have started, to put in mind that I am not alone and I should not hid my problems like I used to and to give value for everything that I have.

Now I can say, I may not have the luxury that most teens have, at least I have “someone”, who fulfilled that kind of happiness and contentment that even material things could not. That is my Kuya, my yak, my brother who I am very much proud to introduce to you.

[2nd Entry] - My "B"

An unattractive thick old maroon book. Wordy, messy, heavy and dull but it is a book that can change a heart of a person, a book that changed me. It is beneficial and has clear message. It is where a Beam of light comes which lightens up my dark path. Day by day it Inspires me to become a Blessing and bless other people with Love for their Extraordinary journey in life. It is the key that opened the door of my heart. It taught me to be an unselfish, loving and thoughtful person. Sometimes it secures me with promises and sometimes warns my actions. It gives answer to my problems and doubts. It is my refuge, my strength. It helped me to become conscious of everything that I am doing. To put in mind that things are not made only for me. It made me realize that impossible means I’M POSSIBLE. That nothing is unachievable if I would just believe in Him. That life may be hard sometimes but it will always have a reason why. My heart may shatter and go through unbearable pain, but I will always have that “someone” who can put the pieces back together. This book tells my worth on being here in this world. It tells my value, work and mission. It teach me how to LOVE.

It was one evening in July 08, 2012, when my sister shared to me her life as a happy-living Christian, living life with Jesus. She shared to me her faith and how it changed her life. She wanted me to live happily with love, and let me receive Christ as my personal savior. Since then, I have wanted to value my life simply because I have one. With Christ as my boss, my dad, my provider and my all in all. Through that dusty-old book in the cabinet, I found the beauty of life. Since then, I owned it and valued it. Making it as my daily bread. It was once a book with no value but now it is my tool and my way to communicate with God and to have a good communication and relationship with other peopleJ. 

[1st Entry] It's Him

There are times that I compared my Papa to other dad who show their love to their daughter verbally. My dad is the direct opposite. The love that he showed to me was in the other way around. Every time I did something wrong in his sight, I would directly get a punishment. Not just a light one, but sometimes it led me to say curse words.

Back in my childhood days, my brother, sister and I used to wander around the neighborhood. There are times that we couldn’t notice the time because of having so much fun. When we arrived home, without a doubt my papa would grabbed his belt and hit us. Followed that was the kneeling down in front of the altar. We spent time there until he told us to stand up. Another was when he caught me with a hand full of junk foods. His eyes widened with madness. He would then take it and throw them somewhere. He would not give me any money unless I promised not to buy one again. When I was a child, my family used to go out. Once, in a restaurant, I insisted to eat ice cream before eating the meal. My papa told me not to, for it will cause pain in my tummy. Well I was still a child then, I insisted and cried. My papa, on his beast mode, pinched me. Even as I grew up as a lady, his strictness never seize. But this time, he will no longer get his belt nor pinched me. There are no physical punishment involve anymore. His discipline now is through words. I could say that my papa is a very concerned and conservative dad. There are some rules in our house that involves dress code. Yeah it sounds crazy but it’s the truth. As a lady, my papa said, I should not dress something provoking or something that would show most of my flesh. No short shorts. No spaghetti-like sleeve shirts (even if my mama allowed me to).

Even if my papa can be considered as one of the strictest dad in the universe, I am proud and grateful to have him as my papa. Without him, I am not as disciplined as I am now. Because of him, I learned not just to consider myself, but also to be concerned of the things and people around me, especially him and my mama. Now that I am in college, I always consider them when I am making decisions. When I have to do things, I always consult them before doing it. When I have to go somewhere for some important matters, I always texted them where I am and who’s with me. They always remind me how to respect other people and how to be humble. They taught me how to value the things that I have and how to be thankful of having enough and how to treasure them. They always reminded me that even though they can utter harsh words sometimes, they never stop loving me. When the world turn its back on me, they will never do the same. They never let me feel that I am alone. The love I have from my parents is priceless. It made me realize not to look for somebody else to love meJ. They let me discover the world’s cruelty and let me learn something about it. They let me enter the world of reality. They never stopped watching the path that I am taking. Most of all is my relationship with the Lord. That in everything that I will do, I should always pray for His guidance and love.